I have absolutely no idea from this pitch what your video is about. Th first thing I need to know is the 'story' of your video. Go back and re work this.
The pitch is good in terms of all the details around the band and inspiration but there are no clues to what your video might include. From your blog it looks like dance will be involved but thats no where to be seen in your pitch. But well done (:
This is a good pitch, we do feel there isn't enough detail on the ideas of the music video such as the story, whats going to happen in it and we feel the details about makeup and hair are not needed. But besides that we like your ideas, we feel it has potential. Well done
I feel this is a good pitch. However I feel you need to include more about the fashion the people in your video will be wearing and more on who your target audience are. Apart from that I feel it is a strong pitch.
The second pitch is a massive improvement on the first as it tells the story that will be in your video. I do however think that you need to be a bit more detailed about what is going to be included in the video, other than the story.
Soph.
ReplyDeleteI have absolutely no idea from this pitch what your video is about. Th first thing I need to know is the 'story' of your video. Go back and re work this.
The pitch is good in terms of all the details around the band and inspiration but there are no clues to what your video might include. From your blog it looks like dance will be involved but thats no where to be seen in your pitch.
ReplyDeleteBut well done (:
This is a good pitch, we do feel there isn't enough detail on the ideas of the music video such as the story, whats going to happen in it and we feel the details about makeup and hair are not needed. But besides that we like your ideas, we feel it has potential. Well done
ReplyDeleteI feel this is a good pitch. However I feel you need to include more about the fashion the people in your video will be wearing and more on who your target audience are. Apart from that I feel it is a strong pitch.
ReplyDeleteThe second pitch is a massive improvement on the first as it tells the story that will be in your video. I do however think that you need to be a bit more detailed about what is going to be included in the video, other than the story.
ReplyDelete